On The Road Back...

Florida no more

2012-02-10T14:07:00.004-05:00

We're back. In the cold. After a wonderful 8 day vacation. The weather was perfect to be beach-ing it with the kids, a warm 25 degrees most days. The waves were fun, the sand was hot, the boardwalk was always interesting, the park was full of new friends and the boys had a wonderful time.

And so did I.

On the food front? I did SO WELL. I had a piece of cheesecake (split into two days) and a kiddie cone of ice cream (from Ben and Jerry's, first time!) and that was it for dessert. Normally on vacation, dessert happens once a day!

But my friends, times... they are a changing.

I ran four times. 4k, 4k, 7k and 4k. I won't lie. It was hard. During the 7k I took 4 breaks. But I finished. And then I went out to do it again the next day.

My 4ks were taking about 30 minutes... so I'm slow. Very slow. But I'm running. And you know what? I still love it. I love the start, the middle and the end. Even though right now it's hard, I still smile while I'm doing it. I love that I'm pushing myself. I feel more like Christy and less like Mommy (ie: the person I've become since I had my kids). I always feel I have to justify that by saying yes, I LOVE being a mommy, but I love being Christy too :)

Would you just look at the bags under my eyes? I haven't been sleeping well at all the past couple of weeks and it's really starting to show. Lots of stress that's outside my control. A lot of sleepless nights staring at the ceiling worrying about friends, about family..... I'm close to considering taking something to help me sleep. Maybe I'll have a few glasses of wine tonight, that always helps (and hey, it's FRIDAY!)

Vacation includes...

2012-02-01T09:52:00.001-05:00

Running 4k on my first official day of training - much easier running in Florida than in Ottawa winter.

Dinner

2012-01-25T21:37:00.003-05:00

Dinner tonight was oh so good.

Red lentil curry - topped with (a little too much) greek yogurt and a side of naan bread.

A green drink (cucumber, celery, kale, parsley, lemon, lime, ginger and an apple) to wash it down with.

7 days

2012-01-24T21:39:00.003-05:00

Until we leave for Florida! Yipeee! One day I came home from work and it was FREEZING out, so we booked a flight that night. 8 days in Hollywood Florida, right beside the beach. Can't wait.

- I've been 90% on my game. When I go "off track", it's not monumentous. I don't throw all caution to the wind and eat until I need to lie down because I'm so full. I listen to my body and stop when I don't want to eat anymore. I know, sounds simple, but for me it's NOT

- I'm drinking a green smoothie a day. All different kinds, but one a day. My skin is great, my face isn't puffy, I have more energy and now I crave one each and every day.

- I'm getting a bit nervous - training for the 1/2 marathon starts next week. Good thing my first couple of runs will be in Florida (so not in crazy Ottawa winter, on snow covered streets). But yes, nervous.

- I'm watching the Big Bang Theory right now and it's making me want to pee my pants.

- My favourite current hot drink is matcha green tea.

- I LOVE my vitamix and use it at least twice a day

Another one

2012-01-18T21:44:00.000-05:00

It's funny how great pictures look on your iphone, until you try to post them online. Oh well, they are all I have.

Here's the before. The paint (I HATE YELLOW PAINT and it seems every house I move into has the main floor painted in yellow....) was changed, but the focus of this before and after is the fireplace. Before it's outdated, ugly, brass, wood and just looks like it belongs in a house in the 80's (which, to be fair to the fireplace, this house was built in the 80's so I'm sure it was beautiful back then)

Oh, found a picture of the paint change.

Here is how it looks now, the fireplace insert was painted black (SO easy and makes all the difference) and the wood was painted out, to white. I love the way it looks now.

(this picture was taken Christmas Eve as my SIL read to her daughter and Carson, Beckett was too busy to sit down, he was running around the house (literally, the main floor in our house is like a square and he just runs on the outskirts over, over and over)

And this makeover is kind of similar to the one I just found on one of my favourite decorating websites Before After

Before and after

2012-01-18T21:31:00.000-05:00

Before......an empty hallway. Just the path from one room to another.

Now, the rooms blend into one another, without a blank hallway. Ikea was having a sale on frames, and while normally my style would be to have all different sizes and shapes of frames, I wanted to get this up quickly and have it done. I can switch out the frames as I go, but part of me likes that it's all one style.

And yes, currently only two of the frames have pictures (the boys school pictures!). I must get on this.

Fixed

2012-01-17T07:54:00.001-05:00

And I'm so much happier

THAT person

2012-01-15T08:21:00.003-05:00

The second last time I got my hair done, I wasn't happy with it, so I went back and had them fix it.
I'm feeling the same way this time around. When you pay $120 (cut and colour) to get your hair done, I want to have a cut that I love. And I don't.

Actually, I almost cut my own hair last night, this morning I'm super happy I didn't, but last night I was tempted.

I like my hair super short in the back, with the hair beside my face being long. But I want the "slope" to be drastic. I don't want an old school bob that I had in highschool.

I was just going to twist the clumps of hair that I want gone and then cut them, but why should I do it when I just paid someone a heck of alot of money to do it?

And as much as I hate doing it (yes, I do hate it), I'm going to call the salon and very nicely ask if they will cut a little more.

Apples + Zucchini = delicious soup

2012-01-14T12:45:00.003-05:00

This soup is so good. So good in fact, I demand that each of you try it.

I wish I had taken a picture of it. The best I have is the bowl in which the soup had originally been.

Here it is:

1 medium onion, chopped, about 1/2 cup
1 small clove garlic, minced
1 small carrot, shredded
1 tablespoon butter
2 medium zucchini, sliced or chopped, about 1 1/2 to 2 pounds
2 apples, peeled, diced
4 cups chicken broth
2 1/2 teaspoons curry powder, or to taste
salt, to taste

Directions:

In a large saucepan, melt butter over low heat; sauté the onion, garlic and carrot slowly until onion begins to yellow. Add zucchini, diced apples, chicken broth, and curry powder. Boil for 2 minutes. Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for 20 minutes.

Carefully puree the hot soup in the blender in small batches. Add salt and pepper to taste. Serve soup garnished with cilantro or Italian parsley leaves.
Serves 4 to 6.

So really.... it's quite healthy, the only fat being the 1tbsp of butter. I followed the recipe to a T, and it turned out delicious. The curry made it a bit spicy, so I wasn't able to feed it to my kids, but it was perfect for Jeff and I.

I even put a dollop of greek yogurt on today's bowl and and it made it a bit more delicious.....

Whaaaaaaaaaat?

2012-01-13T10:08:00.001-05:00

Very interesting

2012-01-09T10:46:00.001-05:00

Saw this while reading something this morning:

Work hard and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Work soft and live a life that envies those who work hard.

2012 Baby!

2012-01-09T08:13:00.003-05:00

Wow, a new year. Where did the last one go?

I'm excited. I always get excited at the start of a new year, it's almost like waking up with a clean slate - put the previous year behind you and only look forward. Now while I don't make specific "resolutions", I do think of my dreams and hopes for the year ahead.

Oh and there are some good ones.

I've been eating glorious wonderful healthy fresh foods.

I bought a Vita-mix and have made some amazing drinks/desserts (orange ice cream for the boys last night with oranges, a bit of sugar and ice - yummo!)

I've been going to the gym, going outside for walk/runs, and have been quite impressed with the indoor workouts with Jillian Michaels (Shred and Yoga).

I'm staying positive.

I'm loving life.

I'm loving my family, and we are getting outside, doing obstacles courses inside, trying new foods and enjoying our time together.

I'm getting together with my girlfriends (which is better than therapy) and having great chats, laughs and glasses of wine :)

We booked a getaway to Florida at the end of January, to get out of the cold and enjoy family time.

And let me tell you, if we continue doing like we are.... for all of 2012? It's going to be the best year ever.

An elf named Chippy

2011-12-19T11:09:00.004-05:00

Two years ago, I had two little stuffed elves that I used to move around the house every night and tell my oldest son that the elves were watching to see if he was being "naughty or nice" so they could tell Santa.

As with all my great ideas (ha!) someone else had already thought of it, and was selling it to the rest of us who couldn't get our act together to do it ourselves! And Elf On the Shelf was born.

Our elf's name is Chippey (cleverly taken from the Elf on the Shelf movie by my 5 year old - sometimes his imagination is lacking just a bit). And Chippey has done some amazing things.

He's been known to be sitting in light fixtures, running away with Carson's shoes, watching movies with Batman, in a getaway car with a dinosaur. He gets into all kinds of trouble at night.

But yesterday he left a note for the boys:

Carson was BEYOND excited. He said the sheets were the coziest in the world (he even said the sheets wrapped up his pillows). We keep our house a tad cold at night, so these were definitely a nice addition!

Proof of someone having a very cozy bed :) Both my boys are like I was when I was young, and kick the covers off no matter how many times their mother goes in and covers them up. So at least now I know the sheets they are lying on will keep them warm. How Chippey knew I felt this way, that remains a secret.

I simply love Christmas. It's all about the magic, the decorations, doing nice things for people, donating toys to children who may not get very much, baking, spending time with family.

It's a very exciting time in our neck of the woods, every morning while we search for Chippey, look to see what ornament to put up on our advent tree (my mom made this while she was pregnant with me!)
I just love Christmas and hope you are all enjoying the holiday season, with whatever your traditions are!

Best friends

2011-12-10T21:55:00.001-05:00

Kaethe's daughter drew a picture of her mom and her mom's best friends.

I''m the brunette being pulled in a sled and striking a 'Staying Alive' pose. And Julie's pouring a martini over head....

Best Christmas picture this year :)

Our tree is finally decorated!

2011-12-10T21:21:00.001-05:00

The Gallant 2011 tree :)

Today

2011-12-07T08:03:00.001-05:00

For now...

2011-12-01T21:51:00.001-05:00

This is my window treatment

In just short 5 years....

2011-12-01T12:58:00.003-05:00

This:

Grew into this:
To my most darling, precious, sweet, kind, generous, funny and handsome boy. My whole world changed the day you were born. You are a blessing, and I am so happy to have you. Not only do I love you, but almost more importantly, I like you. And I'm happy that I get to spend the rest of my life treasuring you.

I did it

2011-11-30T16:15:00.002-05:00

I entered!

Spartan Race

I've always loved physical challenges. I ran a couple of half marathons, I did Ottawa's version of the amazing race, I've done various Boot Camps, and a couple of other little races here and there. Whenever I see someone doing something very physically challenging, I'm always envious. I want to be doing what they are doing. I love pushing myself, doing something I never thought I would be able to, I like seeing what I'm actually capable of.

So when a girl I had met in Jamaica last year set me this link, I knew I had to do it.

As sad as it is to admit this, I too often let my weight interfere with the things I want to do in life. I worry too much what other people will think of me.

This time next year I won't be the weight that I am right now. I will be a smaller healthier happier version of me.

I'm on my way there now, and it's starting to feel really good.

I treated myself

2011-11-30T05:50:00.001-05:00

It has my boys names on it. One of the things I'm most proud of in the world is being a mom. It's the one thing I know I'm good at (most of the time). Being a mom.

Paint - updates

2011-11-23T11:00:00.000-05:00

Here is the "after" picture of our kitchen. You can't see the tiles that clearly now that I have the picture up.

This one is a bit clearer. Bottom line - I love it. Now it just makes me want to get new kitchen cupboards. I've always loved a white kitchen....

I'm pretty lucky in the sense that my step-father (ugh, I hate saying step-father. I've lived with him since I was 12, he's like my dad, but I already have a dad so I feel like I'm insulting my dad by calling my step-dad dad, capiche?) is Italian, so there's this big crew of Italian men who between them all can build a house. One is the framer, the painter, the plumber, the hardwood guy, the drywall guy..... you get the picture. Anyway, we used "the painter" so it was cheaper then if we went with someone we didn't know and all we had to do was make sure we kept the wine rack full.

Ah, my living room. I LOVE the colours (again, you can't really tell but the fireplace wall is painted a different colour then the rest of the room). Now I need to paint the mantle. White. And paint the brass part of the fireplace black.

My front entrance, I need new curtains or SOMETHING to go on either side of my door, what do I get?

Our dining room. I need art on the wall. And a new light. And a new dining room table - I want a big square one.

This is what you see as soon as you enter the house - I don't know what to put where the table is. It needs colour, something big, something different, something to oohh and ahhhh over.

And of course, my boys.

2011-11-22T15:22:00.000-05:00

A goal without a plan is nothing more than a wish.

Am I crazy?

2011-11-21T11:03:00.001-05:00

I kind of want to register for this.

Ottawa Spartan Race

La piece de resistance

2011-11-21T08:25:00.001-05:00

My best friend made me this as a house warming present. We finally put it up. It makes me happy whenever I look at it.

Renov-schmations

2011-11-16T09:44:00.004-05:00

I shouldn't even call them renovations.

It's painting and backsplash. Oh, plus new lights in the kitchen (the fluorescent lights under the cabinets drove me crazy, it is just me or do fluorescent lights always seem to have a flicker?)

So rooms painted are:

living room
kids play room
dining room
eat-in area

Left to do:
kitchen (after the backsplash goes up)
mudroom
front entrance
hallways/upstairs
master bedroom
ensuite

Needless to say, our house is still in shambles. Plus, now I've decided to paint the mantle and the fireplace (to get rid of the brass - will show before/after)

But I am LOVING the paint colour. We chose revere pewter by Benjamin Moore. The picture below shows the colour best, plus we have crown molding in every room and the same colour hardwood.

We used metropolis as our accent colour (the wall above the fireplace) and it's gorgeous. We had used this colour in our last house for the whole back wall of the house and I knew I wanted to use it again.

Whoops. I had come on here just to complain about living through a house in shambles and asking how do people get their whole kitchens renovated while still living in the house - don't you go crazy? Dinners have been easy sandwiches, grilled cheese, cut up veggies and fruits. Thankfully the weather here in Ottawa has been beautiful for this time of year so we can go outside with the kids for a few hours rather than following them around the house making sure they don't trip over blankets, put their dirty hands on my fresh newly painted walls.

P.S. I haven't gotten on the scale in a while - there have been competing priorities for my time, but my clothes are feeling looser and I feel I am looking slimmer. Which to me - is more important than the # on the scale.

P.S.S. But don't' worry, I'm NOT losing steam. You would be amazed at the changes I've been making in my diet. When I'm not so all consumed about the things going on in the house, I'll tell you what I've been doing to come closer to my goal.

Clutter

2011-11-14T08:17:00.008-05:00

The title is two-fold.

1 - My mind is all cluttered, so you may see a few posts with lots to do about nothing
2- My house is so cluttered it drives me insane!

This past weekend was spent inside (well, mostly inside) working on the house.

The outcome: Jeff now has an office in the basement AND we have a guest room in the basement!

We are expecting 7 family members to stay with us over the Christmas holidays (3 "couples - plus my 4 year old goddaughter/niece). So the extra bedroom in the basement will come in handy.

Jeff and I just bought a new king sized bed (and oh my, it's glorious) so we moved our old one downstairs.

The room that is now the guest room (well, right now it's a room with a bed in it) was just cluttered with things that ended up there because a lack of anywhere better to put it. Since we moved in, things just magically appeared in there when we wanted them out of sight. So clearing that room and moving the bed in really helped, as I would get so discouraged every time I looked at the room (and then I'd just put something else in there and close the door, out of sight, out of mind)

Our painters are at the house this week to paint our main floor, the hallways and our master bedroom + ensuite.

I'm SO excited.

One word of advice: if it's possible, get your house painted BEFORE you move in (especially if you have small children)

This is what my house looked like this morning.

But once the house is painted we can FINALLY start making it ours, making it lived-in, putting pictures up, putting some shelves up, adding our personal touches.

My step-dad is also there to do the backsplash in the kitchen.

Here's a before picture:
Here's the tile we are putting up:

Again, so excited. And in other news....

This is my breakfast and it's heavenly.

And even though this weekend was super busy - I managed to fit in an early Sunday morning workout (despite how hard it was to get out of OUR NEW BED)

Oh, and I may have gotten this as a little treat on Friday:

(lipgloss makes me happy, very happy)

Happy Monday everyone!

So true

2011-11-12T07:17:00.001-05:00

The word of the day: Overwhelmed

2011-11-10T08:09:00.003-05:00

The last couple of months I've been struggling in life in general, and I'm working really hard at getting my life under control.

I know we all go through stages like this, where it's so overwhelming. I also know it will pass, I just need to find ways to keep myself calm when it's this stormy.

For example:

At work. I've recently started a new job where there are BIG expectations of me. In my first 4 weeks, I used 6 sick days because my youngest son was sick. He had 2 asthmatic episodes and 3 ear infections. So I missed quite a bit of work, which makes me anxious. My new manager (and her boss) are very understanding, but still it's hard to give a great impression when you're not here all the time. Plus, when I am here, I can't get focussed because there's so much going on. I really need to focus solely on work when I am there.

At home. As I mentioned, my youngest son has been sick quite a bit. So on the weekends when we normally have fun as a family have been very stationary - at home, trying to just battle through the sickness. When I don't get outside or out doing things, I get very cobwebby. Like my mind goes all nuts, I feel the walls closing in on me and then... I get crabby. I did take a few times to go to yoga, which ALWAYS helps, but my boys (both of them) typically scream bloody murder when I leave so while I do my best to enjoy it, that mommy guilt doesn't fully go away.

Personally. We all know my ongoing struggles. I had worked really hard at finding ME again. After becoming a mom, you kind of lose yourself. I am now my children. Their needs become my needs and they are the ones at the forefront of your mind, and you can't think of anything without thinking of them first. I really want to find Christy again. I don't need to say how much I love my children, if you know me, you know that. But I also used to love me. Alot. And these days I don't so much.

Marriage. Marriage is hard work. And it's even harder when you aren't particularly in love with yourself - it's hard to be open and understanding. It's hard to feel attractive. I need to love my body in order to want others to love it.

House. We recently moved into a much bigger house then where we had lived before. We lived in a 3 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom townhouse. We moved into a 4+1 house with 4 bathrooms. And while it's a beautiful house and I love it. It takes a lot to keep it up. Cleaning it is NO fun. Plus, it still looks like we just moved in. We haven't had it painted yet, so there are no pictures up. There's quite a few of little projects I want to get done to make it feel more us, more lived in.

Now, having said all this... this past week I have started to turn around as it relates to eating. And this way of life I'm trying to live, it's very intuitive eating and it's very easy to follow. I'm cutting out all processed sugars and carbs - I'm being drastic at the beginning because I really need to curb my cravings - those are what get me into trouble.

I'm starting to make a schedule at home. And I'm scheduling in ME time. I find my life runs much smoother (and happier) when I have a schedule, a plan.

We are getting our house painted next week and backsplash done in our kitchen - which is the first step to making our house more US.

Baby steps - but definitely steps in the right direction.

I have so much to say

2011-11-07T08:19:00.008-05:00

And I don't know where to start. Maybe it will come out slowly over the next week or two.

For now? I must tell the world about my weekend.

First off - I have the best.friends.ever. Seriously, I do. We've been friends since grade 9 and from when we first met until today, we have remained the bestest of friends. We've gone through it all together. You know some people you are only friends with now because you've known them for so long - but if you met them today you may not necessarily hit it off? That's totally NOT the case with my girls. We all come together and we just think the same way, we find the same things weird, the same stories funny, have most of the same beliefs and feelings about motherhood, marriage and almost everything. We've never had an arguement, a fight, there's never been a period of time when one isn't talking to another because of what she said (I know quite a few of people I've met who just has these crazy stories about their friends - "oh she's nto talking to me because I didn't invite her to my daughter's first birthday"....).

We typically aren't good at planning ahead and the majority of the time we get together it's a last minute thing "I'm having a sh1tty day, wanna meet for dinner?" or "haven't seen you girls in a while, who's free Saturday night".

Without them, I wouldn't be who I am today.

Some of us have had a kind of crazy summer, so 4 of us decided we all deserved a weekend away together, here: Bourget Spa and Inn

It may not have been quite what we expected, but in the end we had an absolute marvelous time. Does anyone else feel that spending a full weekend with your girls is almost better than a year of therapy?

We went into town the first night (VERY small town, there was ONE restaurant) and had dinner. Our expectations weren't high. But they were definitely exceeded!

We may have had too much to drink and couldn't drive back to the spa and Bourget doesn't have cabs. The bartender was going to drive us (but could only fit two in the car so would have to make two trips) and another lady at the bar said she would have taken us, but her dog was in the car? So in the end we had to have a cab come from the closest town (15 minutes away) to drive us home. But the good part of the story is that my friend and I walked to town the next day to pick up my car. It was a good 40 minute walk - exercise that we otherwise may not have done?

The next morning (I slept in till 7:30!) we had a delicious breakfast, some warm tea and indulged in some good magazines.

After our long walk, we came back just in time for lunch. A plate of cheese and crackers to start and then a delicious grilled chicken salad (I forgot to take a picture until I was almost done). For dessert, three small scoops of homemade sorbet (wild berries, yum)

And then we got to choose our meals for dinner, the options were so good, I didn't know what to have!

What do you think I chose?

The butternut squash soup which was OUT OF THIS WORLD - must try to recreate this at home.

And the chicken :) Yumm-o.

And for dessert? Fruits with melted delicious chocolate - don't mind if I do! The worst picture of the weekend, and it was SO good, I wish my picture reflected that!

I got a personalized facial and a manicure. I decided if we were super rich, I could easily spend a day every two weeks at the spa.

Spa treatments, delicious food and the most important - wonderful company (and lots of wine!) and the weekend was a total success.

I love you girls.

Allow me a moment

2011-10-28T08:19:00.003-04:00

To complain. Please?

I'm sick of being overweight. Especially when I am getting ready in the morning.

I'm sick of my pants being tight when I put them on

I'm sick of putting makeup only to notice I don't look like I used to, my face is all swollen puffy and I find I don't look as good as I used to

I'm sick of fat rolls

I'm sick of sitting in my clothes, and everything feels tight

I'm sick of the not so fun clothes I'm wearing. I have a pretty nice wardrobe, but all my fun pieces are just sitting there, waiting to be worn again. I feel my funky style is gone and replaced with a boring mommy attire.

I hate having to suck everything in

I miss colours. I mostly wear black now because it's slimming and XL clothes don't look good in pink ;)

Anyways, I'm sitting here eating my cottage cheese and pineapple (probably my favourite breakfast) and knowing that I'm taking the steps to change it, it's just really hard some mornings.

Annnddddd

2011-10-27T13:23:00.002-04:00

Today at lunch marks my first Christmas present purchase (and two subsequent etsy purchases)

I just want to let it be known

2011-10-26T11:01:00.003-04:00

That I have the best sister ever. Her and her kiddies stopped by my office to give me flowers. They know I've had a rough couple of weeks and they wanted to brighten my day.

My mom often has serious guilt issues about the way she raised us. She was a single mom and always looks back on what she wasn't able to give us. But, this is just adds to our rebuttal when we say she raised us really well and taught us the important things in life. Like family.

So, mom, if you are reading (when you get back from your getaway to Montreal) - see? YOU DID GOOD!

Before anyone asks...

2011-10-22T20:53:00.003-04:00

How the 10K was? I didn't do it.

Literally minutes after I hit "publish" on my last post, I got a phone call from Beckett's daycare. He was having trouble breathing. Just what every mom wants to hear.

So the last couple days I've spent time in the hospital, lying in bed with my sick child, getting sick myself, lying in bed wishing hacking up a lung with kleenex attached to my nose.

Feeling a bit better today, but took my kiddos to the museum instead of doing the run.

Sometimes life doesn't quite go as planned, now does it?

Food and a possible run

2011-10-19T08:29:00.004-04:00

My youngest child has the RAGE recently, and it attacks early in the morning and late at night, so although I was planning on the gym this morning, it didn't happen because I didn't want to leave my husband to deal with the RAGE all on his own.

One good thing about making Carson's lunch every night (which I typically despise, until right now when I thought of a "pro" as opposed to my normal list of "cons" to doing it) is that while I'm in the kitchen making his lunch, I tend to make my own lunch (might as well kill two birds with one stone!). It's not so easy to make excuses to make my lunch when I'm right there making his.

I'm using up all the food that's in our fridge before doing another grocery run, so it was a bit of randomness.

Spinach salad, tomato salsa and hummus. And not pictured are the rice crackers I have in my drawer here at work.

Also I got an email from our city councillor about a run happening in my quite little town of Stittsville, called 9 Run Run. It's taking place this Saturday and it supports DIFD (Do it for Daron) and in light of what happened over the weekend (which I cry each time i read an article about), it feels right to be running for such an important cause.

Now, wait a second, a 10K run? I haven't been running! I haven't been walking! Well, I have been, but not in any capacity that I should be in order to run a 10K.

But - I can do it. I don't really care about my time, I just care about participating in the run, and I feel it may be the spark I need to ignite my running flame once again.

So, come Saturday morning I'll be running a 10K and hoping I survive.

Getting my sweat-on

2011-10-18T07:59:00.003-04:00

I just posted something on twitter along the lines of "I'm a better version of me when I workout first thing in the morning"

It's true. When I'm planning on hitting the gym in the morning, I make sure I make my lunch the night before, pack a breakfast and get to sleep early(-ish). Then I go to the 6am class, get ready and am at my desk at work at 7:30. To me it's the ideal workday morning. I start my day off right, I feel good knowing I've already burned 600 calories. My skin looks better after a workout (well, after a shower after a workout), I find my clothes fit better, I'm just raring to go. I would go 5 mornings a week if possible.

The only problem, is that I miss my boys in the morning. I miss seeing their little faces, I miss kissing them until they can't take it anymore, I miss helping choose adorable outfits for them to wear. I miss pouring their cereal and making their toast.

Gag, I know, right? And trust me, I'm NOT that parent who can't stand to leave their kids, who doesn't go out with friends because she'd rather be home with her kids, who thinks it's evil to leave their kids overnight..... I love being my own person as well as being a mom. But there's just something about morning times that I love with them.

And this past weekend, my youngest son was glued to me because he was sick. So I didn't make it to the gym all weekend (how could I leave him?)

So for now, I will have to live with 3 mornings a week, and fitting in my other 3 work-outs around their, AND my husband's schedule.

Neighbourhood

2011-10-17T12:10:00.003-04:00

This post has nothing to do with weight loss, and everything to do with community.

We moved recently, and I'm SO happy with our new house and neighbourhood. We've gotten to know our neighbours, our kids play together, there's always someone outside doing something and wanting to strike up a conversation, and last night? The doorbell rang around 7pm.

We opened the door, no one was there (except a stray cat that Beckett been playing with earlier), and this:

The note, along with two bags of candies (with our kids names on them!). How great is that? I just moved into a new job at work, and am considering doing it here as well. I love doing fun little things, getting involved, breaking the ice when trying to meet people and just having a sense of community.

Going about this a$$-backwards

2011-10-13T08:32:00.003-04:00

If you lived in my house, you would often hear me say

"I can't wait until I'm healthy and I can do _blank_"
"Oh look at her out and running, I can't wait until I do that"
"I can't wait to look good again"

Yesterday morning I was driving to the gym (I took the morning off work, but still got up at 5:00am to get to my 6am class) and another of these "I can't wait" thoughts went through my head.

And I stopped. (well, I didn't stop the car, if it was a movie, then everything would have just gone into slow motion). What am I waiting for? Can I not do these things/feel this way until I lose weight? Well, now that's just silly isn't it? I can just do it now.

I can be that healthy person. Just because I'm fat, I don't have to act like a fat person (I know that last sentence was totally not politically correct, but this is my blog and that's exactly my thought). Losing weight shouldn't be my goal, it should be to lead the healthy lifestyle that I want to, and losing weight would be a by-product.

This was a bit of a revelation to me, and now my mind has started thinking a different way. My goal is still 60 in 60, but I'm going about it with a different approach. It's not to lose 1lb/week, it's to practice healthy living. It's to exercise because it's good for me and makes me feel good, not because it burns x# of calories and now I can eat ice cream. It's to not not eat for 6 hours before weigh-in so that the scale will lean in my favour.

And, now? I'm more excited about my journey and the end result.

WWMD

2011-10-07T05:15:00.002-04:00

It's 5am. I didn't WANT to get up this morning. There are 5 other people in this house, sleeping right now (my inlaws are visiting). I wanted to be one of them. I wanted to stay in bed.

But it's the Friday before the long weekend.
It's the day before a big turkey dinner.
It's the day I go to the gym.

I was lying in bed, thinking, what would M do? She'd get up, wouldn't she? She'd go to the gym. She's THAT dedicated. She's THAT determined.

So what did I do? I got up. I'm ready, and leaving for the gym in 5 minutes.

Again, thank you M.

Aren't I scary first thing in the morning?

How fast does time really go?

2011-10-06T10:27:00.004-04:00

Where does the time go? I know we all ask this, but seriously... WHERE does it go?

The days on the calendar go flying by. Between visitors, holidays, work, Oktoberfest, swimming lessons, birthday parties, I swear I don't remember September at all.

Is that how quickly a year goes by?

I've given myself a little over a year to lose this weight, and some moments I think it seems SO FAR AWAY, but if I look back to what I was doing at this time a year ago, it seems like yesterday.

A good friend of mine texted me this morning to share with me some good news. She's lost 50 lbs. I read success stories, I see before/after pictures all the time through your wonderful blogs, but this is someone who I've seen the before in real life. I can't to see the after. I'm so very very proud of her, and selfishly, it makes my goal feel more attainable, and for that I thank her.

And for me and my Canadian friends, it's THANKSGIVING this weekend!

We are hosting the dinner (13 adults and 8 kids) and I'm so excited! My sister is making the turkey (god bless her) and so I'm left with the appetizers, accompaniments for the dinner and dessert.

And between you and I? That's the fun stuff anyway. So I'm scouring pinterest today for some ideas. For those of you celebrating a long weekend this weekend, enjoy!

I must remember

2011-09-30T10:15:00.000-04:00

I don't know how I've never seen this before...

2011-09-28T13:50:00.002-04:00

A great read:

Disease Called Perfection

Weigh-in Week #4 and a Recipe

2011-09-28T13:19:00.004-04:00

Down 1.5 lbs. Again, was a tad disappointed because I had done SO well, but it's not at all deterring me. And really, my goal is 1 lb a week - is it my over-achiever instinct which makes me not happy?

Actually, the past couple weeks I've been a grump. I don't know what it is, I just haven't been my usual happy self. I'm never like this and I can't pinpoint what it is, sure I have bad days like everyone does, but it normally doesn't last longer than a day. The only way to describe it is from a children's book, I seem to have a grey cloud hanging over my head.

I'm even considering going to my doctor to run some blood tests to make sure everything is OK.

Today at lunch we had a potluck. I knew everyone would bring not so healthy things, so I wanted to bring something that I knew I could have as my main dish. I felt like quinoa. And I felt like edamame.

So, I googled quinoa and edamame and google gave me this:

I made it last night (while making Carson's TWO lunches, argh, I hate making lunches for school already) and it was a huge hit with everyone today.

Try it. It's fast, easy and really really tasty. And the best part? I have enough for me for dinner tonight :)

Visual

2011-09-22T08:19:00.004-04:00

I'm a very visual person. I like to SEE things, rather than have to imagine things. I like to feel things, touch things (wow, that sounds kind of dirty, doesn't it?).

I was talking about visualizing my weight loss with a very good friend of mine. This is what we came up with:

In one bowl, the weight I have to lose. 55 lbs represented by 46 red marbles = 1 lb each. 18 white marbles = .5 lb each.
In the other bowl, the weight I have lost. 4 red marbles + 2 white marbles.

ok, in this scenario perhaps I'm using the 1/2 lb marbles instead of the full lb marbles to make it look like more :)

As I lose the weight, I move the marbles from one bowl to the next.

As you can see, the bowls are on my kitchen counter top where I can look at them constantly, visualizing, motivating myself, determined to fill the bowl.

Weigh-in Week #3

2011-09-21T14:39:00.001-04:00

Down 3.5. That's really over two weeks, and at first I was disappointed. Then I was given a smack (not literally!) by my husband that I need to celebrate all successes, no matter how large or small.

So yaaayy! I'm down 3.5.

And just because I am an excel freak, I'm recording everything and now I've reached 8.3% of my goal.

:)

Blood pressure

2011-09-19T15:49:00.004-04:00

I've always had really good blood pressure. It's typically been about 100/60 (ish). I went to give blood today (my 8th time donating, I don't plan on stopping anytime soon) and they took my blood pressure.

sorry, cant' get the image to flip.

I know it's not high, but it was just another reminder that I'm happy I'm taking the steps necessary to get healthier, to get to my goal weight, because it's things like this, things on the INSIDE that are being affected by the weight I am now.

Just sayin'

2011-09-19T13:00:00.002-04:00

I tracked my food all weekend! Sure, I went into the hole about 6 points (but not really, I don't "use" my activity points, but I certainly racked them up), but the point is I tracked.

Water, red skin and afters.

2011-09-15T10:38:00.006-04:00

Drinking water has always been easy for me. I never drank much else besides water (the occasional iced tea, but I've never drank pop or been much into juices). But when I'm at work, I often run out of water and am too busy (or lazy, depending on the day) to walk to the kitchen to get more.

Solution?

I want to get my face flawless. Look at it - I have blotchy skin and grey circles under my eyes. I have every product in the universe to attempt to get the flawless face look and I just can't do it. Any wonderful insightful ideas?

And you know we are supposed to try to visualize ourselves after we lose the weight, what life will be like, what we will look like. Well I can do that. Because I was there once. I've realized lately that although I take a gazillion pictures of my kids, I'm hardly in them. (Obviously I realize I can't be in a picture if I'm taking the picture)... but I hate getting my picture taken. But I WANT to be in the pictures, I want my kids to have memories of when their mom was young (so they can laugh at the fashion sense I had 20 years from now, like I do with my mom). See, I didn't always shy away from the camera, hide behind someone, or just run away... I used to like having my picture taken.

WI #2

2011-09-14T13:29:00.003-04:00

Oops, in addition to the post below - I forgot to add that I DID NOT weigh in last night. My parents were still in town and their flight only left at 9.

Missing a WI isn't a bad thing, I find if I pre-plan to miss it, allowing me to eat whatever I want because I'm not weighing in that week is a bad thing.

And a good friend recommended I treat my WI day as Day 1. This way, I'm not tempted to "cheat" after a WI (which I often had in the past) as my new week has already started.

Target Tuesday - week #3

2011-09-14T10:04:00.004-04:00

How did I do on week #2?

Not super hot, but not that bad either. If you've been reading my blog, you know I'm struggling, but with the help of all YOU people, and doing some soul-searching, some reading, some thinking, some talking....and I'm slowly getting stronger. Getting more motivated. Getting more prepared for obstacles.

And I'm STILL excited about it.

Oh yes, my goals for last week.

1 - I will go to the gym 3 times (Tony Greco) - DONE
2 - I will walk 3 times (an hour each time). Side note: I tried running on Saturday, but apparently my strained muscle doesn't think it's ready yet! As soon as I started running my leg screamed at me. A little while longer me thinks. - I walked ONCE.
3- I WILL track everything I eat (I had very good intentions this week, but we had my dad/step-mom staying with us for the weekend and things just got away on me, lame excuse, but I can only vow to make this week better) - Total FAIL

Once again this week, I will have the same goals.

And I will NOT fail. I will no longer make excuses....

Why do I struggle so?

2011-09-12T11:59:00.002-04:00

I really need to revisit tricks and tips to eating well when you socialize. Because this, my friends, is hard for me. Take this past week:

-I had dinner out with friends one night,
-my mom took the boys and I out to dinner another night
- we went up to a friend's cottage on Saturday (lunch and dinner)
- we went to my brother's house for brunch on Sunday
- we entertained on sunday night

I know how to do this. I really do. I exercise to have a few extra points on the days when I know I may need some wiggle room. I eat very low point meals the rest of the day, so to leave myself with the max number of points possible for the meal I'm worried about. When I'm going to a brunch/cottage/whatever, I bring a veggie or fruit platter, so I know there's something there that's points friendly for me. When I'm at someone's house when they are entertaining, I keep myself busy by offering to help do dishes, playing with the kids, sitting away from the table of food...

But then I walk by the table of timbits, there's no one else in the room. And I eat SIX. yes, SIX.

And then when I'm home, freezing the banana bread I made (to use up the bananas) and I have two pieces, because there happens to be butter left out from the night before's dinner. Of course, no one is watching. Because you know, I had timbits, so the day is shot... may as well finish it off.

Despite having this conversation with my husband. About how I am struggling. About the 6 timbits. He tells me that it's done, it's over, just move on and don't let it affect the rest of my day. Yet that's exactly what I do!

Ok, so it's Monday, I'm feeling motivated. I'm going to weigh in tomorrow night no matter how much I know it's not going to be exactly encouraging.

And tonight? Dinner at my sister's house because my parents are still visiting from Edmonton. I love how we are surrounded by a ton of friends, family, and I wouldn't change that for the world... BUT for 60 weeks if I could eat everything at home, it would be so much easier.

No one said this would be easy though.

On the bright side, here's my lunch. See - when I'm planning and in FULL control... I can do this!

Balanced School Day

2011-09-09T08:23:00.005-04:00

My oldest son, Carson, just started FULL DAY KINDERGARTEN yesterday. He's 4.

This is him because I know you want to see him

At his school, they have what's called a "Balanced School Day". This term applies to both to their blocks of learning as well as their lunch & recesses.

In terms of lunch - rather than having one lunch with two recesses (one in the morning and one in the afternoon) they have two "nutrition breaks" which consist of 25 minutes of outdoor play, followed by 20 minutes of "food break".

So now, for the first time, I've started to make lunches for Carson. Up until now, his daycare has always provided his food. And not only do I have to make one lunch, I have to make TWO.

I bought these Easy Lunch Boxes, and so far, they are awesome. Typically my kids eat a meal consisting of a few different things (I try my best to have each of the food groups represented) so I thought these containers would do the job perfectly. It's only day 2, but so far, total success.

Then I started looking at the easylunchbox website (they have a great spot with many different ideas for lunches, great tool for parents) and thought - hey, maybe this is how *I* should be packing my lunch? I always feel more satisfied when I have a few different things to eat rather than one big bowl of something.

These are the benefits listed for a balanced school day, and if they can apply to our children, then by proxy I would assume they apply to us as well:

More uninterrupted instructional time
Enhanced learning environment
Improved student concentration and energy levels
Greater task completion for both students and educators
Positive influence on student achievement and health
More time for students to relax and enjoy their lunch
Improved physical fitness for both students and educators
More time for daily physical activity and play

This morning I tried it out....

For breakfast (after a workout): 1/2c. cottage, cheese, 1.5c pineapple, 1 WW flatbread (total 5 points)

I think I will start using these more often (and it means I won't have to bring fifteen tupperware containers to work!)

Journalling IS key

2011-09-07T21:30:00.002-04:00

Today I took the day off to spend with Carson, and we were out and about the whole day. I did well, and not so well all at the same time.

At the end of the day, I was thinking "Im sure I ate all my weekly plus points", I'll just say they are all gone. Which totally sets me up for failure. With it being only the second day of my week, I would find it hard to say within my points for the next 5 days which include a weekend.

But as I was sitting down, I thought - I should just write it down. So I did. And sure the number wasn't pretty (44 if you really want to know) BUT that was only 15 of my weekly plus points. Which means I have 34 left. That's not all of them gone. Heck, 34 is a lot!

And writing it down, it doesn't lead me to believe "I've overindulged and now my week is a write-off" which is one of my biggest downfalls.

So, once again I am reminded that journalling is very key along this journey.

Turn that frown upside down!

2011-09-06T11:53:00.003-04:00

This morning I went back to the gym. I had gone on the weekend as well, which was my first time back since my injury.

I know I had said I was going to go back last week, but it took me longer than I had hoped to get my sh1t together (mentally and physically).

Anyhoooooo. There I was. Starting off the class with squat jumps. Standing at the front of the class, right in front of the mirror.

Wow, there's nothing quite like a wake-up call like seeing yourself in the mirror, what you ACTUALLY look like while jumping up and down.

It wasn't pretty my friends, wasn't pretty at all.

I know some of us see ourselves quite differently then we actually look (sound familiar anyone?)
But I'm pretty sure I was seeing myself accurately. And it's not what I'm meant to look like!

I was discouraged (read: close to tears) for about 2 minutes. Then as I got into the workout (I think it was during the kettlebell station) I realized there's only one thing I can do about it. I can get fit. I can get healthy. I can lose the weight. There's no point crying about the past, being sad and depressed over how I got here. I need to channel that energy and put it into the positive, and use it as motivation, determination and get my arse to the gym in the mornings!

I need to turn all negative energy into positive energy. And that, my friends, is what I'm going to do.

Target Tuesday

2011-09-06T08:09:00.003-04:00

I wish I meant Target on a Tuesday, but no, I mean that each Tuesday I am going to set my goals for the upcoming week. My target, if you wish, of what I want (will) accomplish this week.

1 - I will go to the gym 3 times (Tony Greco)
2 - I will walk 3 times (an hour each time). Side note: I tried running on Saturday, but apparently my strained muscle doesn't think it's ready yet! As soon as I started running my leg screamed at me. A little while longer me thinks.
3- I WILL track everything I eat (I had very good intentions this week, but we had my dad/step-mom staying with us for the weekend and things just got away on me, lame excuse, but I can only vow to make this week better)

There you have it. My goals for the week.

New start calls for new hair, right?

2011-09-01T15:42:00.008-04:00

It hurts me to say it, but summer is coming to an end.

I'm starting 60 in 60 and feel like I needed to change something about myself.

So I made an appt and went and got my hair cut!

I didn't love it.

The pictures didn't show how bad it was, but honestly? This is what I looked like:

So I called them back this morning and went in to get it fixed at lunch. It's MUCH better now.

(mental note: learn how to take self portraits with my phone)

After getting my hair did, I went to a therapy session. Also known as, dinner out with my best friend. We've been friends since we were 12 and we used to live in the same neighbourhood until I recently moved, so we try to get together often because I miss seeing her every week. It's hard working around our work schedules, our husband work schedules, our kids schedules etc....

We went to the Black Dog and I got a glass of wine (went for 5 oz, typically I do the 9 oz but wanted to save points) and had a Chicken Tandoori salad and it was DELICIOUS. I am going to totally recreate this bad boy at home (again, mental note, LEARN HOW TO TAKE GOOD PICTURES)

Then it's tradition, we had to split the chocolate peanut butter cup which is the absolutely most divine dessert you've ever had. Of course, we ate it too quickly so no pictures :)

Post-itty Post Post

2011-08-31T11:09:00.003-04:00

Carson asked me why there are tickets all over my house.

It may be a bit extreme, but so far, I get a feeling of strength, of motivation, of dedication, of "yes I can do it" whenever I look at, and read, one of the 'tickets' posted all over my house.

It's a daily (hourly...) reminder of what I need to do, what I CAN do, what I AM doing, to get to where I want to be.

My favourite today is "You need to start acting like the person you want to be"

(again, please forgive the crappy photos)

And here's my motivational picture. This was from my bachelorette weekend in Tremblant, July 2005.

(and the corner of Carson's JK class photo, he's second from the end on the first row. Come on, he's this small little dude! He was the youngest in his class....)

60 in 60

2011-08-31T09:47:00.005-04:00

No, I'm not turning 60 in 60 days

I'm not spending 60 dollars in 60 seconds (although that would be SUPER EASY)

I'm not doing 60 push-ups in 60 minutes

I'm not cutting 60 snowflakes in 60 hours

I'm not getting rid of 60 bags of garbage in 60 days.

What I AM doing is losing 60 pounds in 60 weeks.

Last night I went back to WW. I did not like the number I saw on the scale. Not one bit. I had to make a decision. I can either go on the way I am going and be unhappy, unhealthy, not active, basically - the complete opposite of what I want to be.

OR, I can do something about it. I want to be healthy, I want to be active, I want to wear great clothes, I want to be proud of what I look like. And really, what it boils down to, is an easy choice.

It's just something I have to do. And I will.

Starting today.

Starting from scratch

2011-08-26T11:13:00.002-04:00

I just spent the morning reading "About Me" "How I got here" and seconds ago just finished "The Skinny Latte Story".

I've been dieting basically my whole life (and obviously haven't been super successful because, well read on and you will see) and here I am, 36, and not at all where I want to be health-wise.

I'm overweight. I haven't checked my BMI recently, but I'm pretty sure I would fall into the obese category.

And that scares the bejeezus out of me.

Why is it that I think that I can't be the person I want to be? There's a girl here at work who is tall, beautiful, thin, she has an amazing wardrobe... and then I find out she goes to Tony Greco (where I go). Then I find out that she was a size 16 before she started! I was telling my husband, Jeff, about this and I can't remember my exact words but it was something along the lines of "well I wouldn't be able to do that". Jeff looked at me and said - why not? He said you've done it before, and there's no logical reason why you can't do it.

And you know what? He's right.

I'm so TIRED of constantly thinking badly about myself, about feeling like such a failure, about seeing other people around me do amazing things, reading of other's successes. Why do I have it engrained in my mind that I CAN"T do it?

For those of you who keep up with Skinny Latte's posts, did you read the one today?

Just Do It

And it really is as easy as that. I have to stop making excuses and just do it. I don't mean the journey will be easy, I just mean it's as easy as making the decision to stop being a fat person and living a life of sloth, and start doing whatever it takes to get me to goal.

Most other things in my life are great. I'm happily married, I have two healthy boys that I love more than life itself, we just moved into a beautiful house, I have a great job, I'm close to my wonderful family, I'm surrounded by amazing friends. All the things that don't come easy, I already have.

I just seem to be so on the "off track" these days that I'm not even trying. I get spurts of motivation where I'll exercise and eat well the whole week, then it's Friday night, I don't feel like cooking so we get pizza. And then I think "well, I've already eaten pizza, so I may as well eat chocolate. And ice cream. And popcorn".

When I'm up I'm up and when I'm down I'm down.

There is so much inspiration out there in blogland, I read it daily, I feel the words, I picture myself writing them. I'm inspired, I'm motivated, I think I CAN DO IT. Then I look away from the screen, see a chocolate candy and eat it.

I'm currently surrounded by ideas, ways to get started, I have more support around me then I know what to do with.

Next Tuesday, I will be starting WW again. It's the one thing that helped me in the past, and I must go back. It's the accountability I think. Unless one of you want to show up at my house every Tuesday with a scale and make me stand on it :)

Starting tomorrow morning I will be going back to the gym.

I plan on making more healthy decisions then not-healthy decisions. One step at a time. I am constantly telling myself that I can do it, and maybe one of these days I will believe it. I need to start, I can't continue along this path and then wake up and regret the last ten years.

Phil says: Can I just say at this point that the length of time it takes to achieve a goal really is immaterial - because the time is going to pass anyway. If you start, and don't give up, you will get there - if it takes two years, it takes two years, but at least by then you are where you want to be, and not wishing you'd started two years ago!

This is what I need to remind me to start NOW. If I had started a year ago? I'd be that much further along. The amount of weight I need to lose seems so massive right now, which is why I've been putting it off. There's no way I can lose 60 lbs! Might as well eat chocolate! That's right, I am 60 lbs more than I was the day I got married (give or take a few).

So here I go. Again. For so long I've made excuses and put everyone else ahead of me. My kid's needs, my husband's needs, I have guilt issues about leaving and going to the gym (my husband is totally supportive though, I bring on these guilty feelings completely on my own)... I need to put myself first. Ok, maybe not first, but at least at the same degree of importance of those in my immediate family. My mom just recently had a health scare (found out yesterday that we don't have anything to worry about!) and I want to make sure I'm healthy and around for many many many many more years to come.

I am going to try to be more active on my blog, it really is therapeutic and I think important along my journey.

Oh my! Yummy!

2011-08-24T12:23:00.002-04:00

On my daily read of all my favourite blogs, I came across this one that kind of piqued my interest on Amy's site. Like really, how can something entitled Mmmm sauce NOT pique your interest.

And I'm not sure if I have ever talked about my love-obsession for any type of sauce. Dip, gravy, chutney, salsa, dressing, glaze, you name a semi-solid food served on food, and I'm sure I love it.

So - interest piqued.

Through this Mmm sauce link, I found the wonderful Mama Pea website. Specifically, the Mmm sauce refers to being served with broiled tofu. I'm slowly starting to introduce more non-meat dinners (much to the dislike of my husband). Carson doesn't really like meat, so I'm trying to bring different protein sources into our diet.

While Jeff and Carson were away (they left last Thursday, I cant wait for them to come home tonight!) I found it VERY hard to cook for just us. There were alot of sandwiches, soup, picky meals (crackers, grapes, cheese, milk, cucumbers etc...) but on Sunday night I decided to try my hand at cooking with tofu. Please note, I've never cooked with tofu.

I've eaten it several times, but me myself? I have never cooked with it.

There's a first time for everythign right? I pressed and marinated the tofu as told (looking back, I cut it into too small pieces, would have been easier to flip in the oven if the pieces were bigger). I marinated it for TWO nights (should have been one, my mom called last minute to take Beckett and I out to dinner with the twins). Last night I set to work.

I made the rice. I made the sauce (VERY easy!). I broiled the tofu, I stir fried some veggies.

I piled it all together (rice, veggies, tofu, dressing) and tasted it.

It was absolutely delicious.

I am so excited to find a new recipe - I don't know about freezing tofu (anyone have any suggestions or want to let me know how it freezes?), but this would be a great meal to freeze in lunch sized portions.

SO GOOD.

Here are some notsogood pictures (ever since I got an iphone, I take pictures only with it, my camera hasn't come out of hiding in almost a year I think - I must rectify this).

Weekend warrior

2011-08-18T09:35:00.004-04:00

I strained my medial gastroc. This is what the internet has told me about it:

A medial calf injury is a musculotendinous disruption of varying degrees in the medial head of the gastrocnemius muscle that results from an acute, forceful push-off with the foot. This injury occurs commonly in sports activities (eg, hill running, jumping, tennis), but it can occur in any activity. A medial calf injury is often seen in the intermittently active athlete, often referred to as the "weekend warrior."

The description is exactly how it happened (forceful push off with the foot), and I suppose I can be classified as an intermittenly active athlete. One day, I hope to be a full time active athlete :)

I'm feeling better after the ultrasound last night (the ultrasound on my LEG people). I have a few exercises now to do while I'm sitting at my desk all day long. 3 weeks until I can go back to Tony Greco though. As soon as my husband gets back (he left with my oldest son to PEI for 6 days) I will head back to yoga and maybe try some swimming (although lane swimming times isn't exactly conducive to being a mother).

So I'm not as stressed out as I was, I know I will get back into it as soon as I've healed, and I just need to look at different ways to stay active without doing something to prolong my recovery stage.

Ooooowwwwwwch

2011-08-15T07:25:00.002-04:00

I get up at 5am (despite not really wanting to) and I head to the gym (although I would have rather stayed in bed).

I'm wearing my new shoes (I totally blame them)

The first station is to do a box jump onto a bosu from one foot.

I jump.

I feel something in my calf move.

I yelp in pain.

I try to do it again. Same pain.

I leave the class.

I ice it for 10 minutes.

I'm still almost in tears it hurts so much.

I can point my toe, but as soon as I try to bring it towards me it kills.

I'm stressing - does this mean I can never work out again? I'm going to gain 20 lbs.

And of course, I had brought a dress to wear to work. With heels. So now I'm sporting my dress with my purple flip flops that I wear to the gym. And I'm limping.

Happy Monday.

Dinner, Tony and Beckett

2011-08-09T12:28:00.004-04:00

Girls night out. Love it. We went and sat on the patio at Stoneface Dolly's and shared some delicious food. My meal was almond crusted chicken on garlic mashed potatoes with sauteed vegetables.

And you know what? I actually DID go to the gym to get my sweat on to make room for dinner.

The next day I worked out at lunch time and tried to get a few pictures of the class....

Me: before

Room all set up for the class:

Me: after the class. You can't tell with the crappy iphone picture but I'm schweaty.

Full body shot. Not that I didn't want to include my face, I just didn't want to keep trying to take my picture and get a good shot - people were watching!

I just had to post this. My youngest son, Beckett, who's regular spot is on top of the kitchen counter while I'm in the kitchen. We call it his roost. Funny thing, when i was young I can totally remember being a counter sitter too!

He's just so cute I had to add another one. And yes, status quo for the men in my family to only wear pants and no shirt.
Ahhh, a beautiful sunrise. See the beauty of nature you get to see when you are up at the crack of dawn?

Loonnnng days

2011-08-04T09:00:00.006-04:00

I've been waking up at 5 to get to the gym by 6 - and I normally fall into bed at 11 (10 if I'm lucky).

A typical day:

5 - 5:30 Wake up. Normally quite slowly. Make my tea, change into my gym clothes
5:30 - 6:50 Commute to the gym. Workout.
6:50 - 7:30 Commute to Goodlife to use the shower. Shower, get ready and leave for work
7:30 - 4. Work
4 - 4:30 Drive to pick up the boys
4:30 - 5:30 Get home and make dinner while the boys drive me crazy. Send them outside and let them destroy the backyard. 15 minutes later though they are back inside complaining how hungry they are. Please tell me how I can get my kids to watch TV for at least half an hour while I get dinner ready?
5:30-7:30 Dinner, dishes, play, ride our bikes, whatever the night calls for
7:30 -8:15 Bathe the kids, get them into bed
8:15 - 9:30 Make my lunch, laundry, clean... whatever needs to be done to make sure we are all ready to go in the morning
9:30 - CHRISTY TIME (or CHRISTY and JEFF time)

Last night Christy time involved watching Storage Wars :)

Just in case you were wondering what my days look like - there it is.

Here are a few random pictures from last night.

Mmmm dinner. Grilled veggies, a Greta and Janet gourmet chicken burger with fire roasted vegetables with a sliced avocado on top and a sprinkle of goat cheese

My spa water. The container (pink, of course, need I remind you I have TWO boys)

Water with ice cubes, cucumber and lemon slices. SO GOOD.

I cleaned the fridge last night. I have no idea how people take pictures of their fridge, I couldn't get it to work. Mind you, all my pictures these days are taken with my iphone - much easier to download :)

Grocery shopping and subsequent cutting up of veggies. Mixed in with a few Handy Manny tools :)
Sitting down finally for a delicious orange and to track all my food for the day.

Tonight I'm meeting the girls for dinner downtown... perhaps to Play Food and Wine (their cheese plate is to die for)? I didn't want to go home first and then drive all the way back downtown... so I thought I'd go shopping for a bit. THEN I realized I'm trying to cut down on my spending so I decided to go to the gym. GO ME. (Between you and me though, it's only so I can indulge in said cheese plate)

Updated to add:

I love leftover mixed together lunches. Look at my lunch? I know! And it tastes as good as it looks.

-green leaf lettuce
-leftover, warmed up, grilled vegetables
- 1/4 cup of white beans
- sprinkle of goat cheese
- 1 tsp of olive oil dressing

I love long weekends!

2011-08-01T09:58:00.002-04:00

Friday night - dinner at home with the family, popsicles on the front step, chatting with neighbours
Saturday - clean house from top to bottom (it needed it), got some things put away that I've been meaning to do since we moved in, finally set up our guest room
Saturday night - drop kids off for a sleepover at the lakehouse, we head out to a catered, open bar pool party with our two best friends. So much fun.
Sunday - hang out around the house playing with our bikes, scooters, kiddie pool... friends come over for a serious BBQ (ribs, shrimp skewers, three different salads, fruit pizza and ice cream cones)
Monday - just waiting for Jeff to get home, then going to the splash pad with the twins, leftover lunch of RIBS, then dinner at our friends house back in Riverside South.

I LOVE LONG WEEKENDS!!!

Second day at Tony Greco

2011-07-27T11:06:00.002-04:00

And I think I may hate sprawls.

And I had forgotten about burpees.

And I feel awesome.

I love breaking a sweat first thing in the morning.

Hot Yoga

2011-07-26T09:38:00.003-04:00

I'm taking my first hot yoga class tomorrow night. Any tips/advice/suggestions? I do think I may die, but I need to find out firsthand what all the rave is about!

(can you tell I got 10 yoga classes/$50 on livingsocials.com?)

Hot Yoga Description: 1 hour yoga class in a heated room (about 90 degrees F). This is an intermediate class. Practicing in a hot room produces a greater rang of movement in joints, muscles and ligaments. Sweating promotes detoxification and elimination through the skin. Please arrive early to acclimate to the temperature, and bring a towel and bottle of water.

THIS is what I intend to look like at the end of the class. Possible? HA. The only resemblence will be the amount of sweat.

Watermelon shoes

2011-07-26T08:31:00.002-04:00

My brother is a Reebok representative, so I often will order clothing/shoes/whatever from him.

I need a new pair of cross-trainers for the new class I'm taking (I need my running shoes for, yep, you guessed it - running!) so I asked him what was a good cross-trainer. He told me the Zig Nano. I chose a specific colour, but they didn't have it in stock. So this is what I got.

Now does the title of this post make sense?

Goooooo Monday!

2011-07-25T11:46:00.004-04:00

As much as I hate Mondays because that means my weekend is over, it's also a fresh start for me. I love the anticipation of a great week.

My weekend consisted of a sleepover at my parents place on the lake, a day on the boat (my boys and I LOVE jumping off the boat and swimming in the middle of the lake), a great yoga class, brunch with family, splash pad, getting our food ready for the week and then out for a night with my sisters where I almost peed myself laughing.

This morning started off early. Like 5am early. But I sprang out of bed, excited (yes, excited!) for my Lean and Fit class starting at 6am. I'm back with Tony and couldn't be happier. After a 45 minute workout, I feel like I put all I could into it. Now my workout for the day is done, I'm always more inclined to eat well all day once I've got a workout under my belt.

My lunch today was delicious. I made a salad last night, just throwing in whatever I wanted and it ended up being:

3/4 cup (non cooked) Quinoa
Chickpeas (whole can)
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar and garlic (an oil that I bought from Farmboy)
30 grams feta cheese
red pepper, cucumber, onion
fresh parsley

I took a cup of it for lunch and am currently eating, and highly enjoying it.

Here is to a wonderful summer week!

Lunch

2011-07-22T13:40:00.003-04:00

I love Fridays, for the same reasons that most people do.

Today I went out for lunch with my sister, and a colleague of mine - who we realized, only after about 5 months of working with each other, lives on my sister's street and her daughter used to babysit my niece and nephew.

Yummy lunch.

Glass of white wine (6 points)
Shrimp shumai ( 6 points)
Mango & Cashew salad (8 points)

My office was looking a little drab, so I brightened it up with the absolute best part of my life.

Happy Friday! Have a great weekend!

I swear...

2011-07-21T12:42:00.004-04:00

Every day I have ideas on what I can write about, what I want to share. I have plans, of when I can sit down with a cup of tea and write.

But here it is, a month since my last post. It's already JULY 21st! Where has the summer gone? When a weekend get together was rescheduled to August, I thought - why so far away? But really, that's in TWO weeks.

I know, I have to live in the day and today, it's July and it's summer. I need to stop looking into the future so much....

But, I digress.

Now that I'm back, all my bright ideas and wonderful posts are gone. And I sit here trying to say something interesting.

We had a wonderful trip on PEI. Beautiful weather, we love being with our family that we only see once a year. The boys had such a great time on the beach. For those of you who have never been there, the beaches aren't white and sandy beaches (ok, maybe Cavendish is..) but on the south shore there is red sand. And seaweed. And shells, rocks, driftwood, crab shells, seaglass... it's the best treasure island ever. We spent the whole week on the beach (a couple different ones) and just relaxed. It was perfect.

Carson making a person in the sand. Love the hair, the eyes and the teeth!

Our new house is still a work in progress. We are totally unpacked, but not settled in. I know what I want my house to look like, I just don't know how to put it all together. I've been using pinterest to get my ideas all together. And I just recently "hired" an interior designer to help me out. Here's who I got: http://ulyajenseninteriors.com/. She's coming to the end of August. I'm excited.

Here's a video of our new house - the first floor at least. My husband took it, and the house wasn't cleaned up before it was taken, so please disregard the mess. But it gives a little idea of where I'm living now.

I'm still with WW (I should say back after a brief hiatus) and quite motivated. Monday morning, I start the Tony Greco Lean and Fit program. Pre-baby body here I come (or as close as I can get)

For lunch I made the WW watermelon and orzo salad. It was quite yummy, although a tad high in points (1/2 cup was 5 points). But a great idea to bring to a summer potluck. And the # of points goes to show me that I sometimes underestimate the points for pasta salad type things. I really need to start counting them as more.

It's HOT out here in Ottawa today (supposed to be 47 with the humidex!). I'm picking up my boys and going to a friend's house who has a pool.

Happy humpday!

Weigh-in #4

2011-06-21T22:12:00.002-04:00

NO CHANGE

It sucks. I actually exercised. I tracked. I was expecting a good loss.

But this is what it's all about, right? Staying on track, KNOWING that all my hard work will pay off, even if not immediately.

Life is so busy these days. Just today, I went to work, went to Carson's end of school recital, took Beckett to his chiropractor appointment, made supper, ate supper, went to WW, went to do a bit of shopping, we are leaving for PEI on Friday so I had to pick up presents for all the kids (we don't send one at birthday times, we just all exchange during the summer while we are there). But even despite every night being insanely busy, I'm doing well mentally and physically. I wish I hadn't have weighed in, I would be in a much better mood right now.

Really boring post, my apologies.

Deee-lish!

2011-06-15T12:27:00.002-04:00

I made my lunch this morning. And I'm eating it now. And it's so good.

Tomato, bocconcini, and fresh basil. Drizzled in extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar. I really should keep pepper at work, that would have been the cherry on top.

ALSO - I RAN this morning! Yipee. I'm patting myself on the back if you can't tell. And of course, as I suspected, I loved it. We have a great trail in Stittsville (the Ottawa-Carleton trailway). I knew I needed to get out there, just once, and then I'd want to get out there on a more regular routine.

Sidenote: at one split in the trail I took the road less travelled by, and it's not always the best option Robert Frost, there was a huge puddle spreading over the trail into the grass/bushes, so I had to head back and take the other one.

3 weeks in, what I've noticed

2011-06-14T11:04:00.002-04:00

- it is not helping me AT ALL to treat myself to "all you can eat" the night after you WI. Basically, I use it as my cheat day, but I go overboard and feel like poop the next morning. It's not helping me to lose weight and it's totally one night of my old habits. Bad Christy Bad.

- I need to track always. Some days I keep a tally in my head, but that doesn't work. TRACK TRACK TRACK.

- I need to start exercising again. Besides my bike rides with the kids, walking to/from park, running around the house cleaning, chasing kids.... I haven't scheduled in any exercise. This must change. I know I will love it as soon as I start. I just need to do it!

Weigh-in #3

2011-06-14T07:55:00.001-04:00

DOWN 1 LB

Weekend of FUN

2011-06-12T22:00:00.002-04:00

Friday night - dinner with our best friends. Kids had a blast, good food, good wine.
Saturday - spent whole day at friend's cottage. Beautiful weather. Good food, good wine, kids had an awesome time.
Sunday - cleaning, organizing, laundry (blah) but then - super long bikeride with kids trailing behind, quick visit with sister, yummy BBQ dinner, trip to local ice cream shop (where I DIDN"T HAVE ANY ICECREAM - WHO AM I????)

And now? in bed watching some crazy food addict show on TLC where this girl eats some ridiculous amount of tartar sauce. Crazy.

Frid-yay!

2011-06-10T12:35:00.002-04:00

- am loving my Joe Fresh outfit today (jeans, ruffly tank top and super light long white tops that open in the front)? I'm a total loss for the word I'm looking for. It goes down to just above my knees and it's like a cardigan, but it doesn't do up in the front? What are those called?

- as I tried to google the picture of this top with an unknown name, I found this site! It's a tumblr page of all joe fresh clothes, love it!

- be warned: beets are no longer 0 points. I put 4 into my salad today and being the good WW that I am these days, I tracked them. Checked out the NI online and they are 3.5 pts for 227 grams. I have NO idea how many beets that is, but am tracking 2 pts to be on the safe side. Am afraid to check for pickles. I love pickles.

- headed to my best friend's house for dinner (lives in my old neighbourhood where I pick up my kids after work every night) and I FORGOT TO BRING A BOTTLE OF MY WINE. Stupid stupid stupid.

- It's FRIDAY. Of course that means rain for the weekend - which may dampen our Saturday cottage plans, but there's a little BBQ in the park day being held in Stittsville, so we have alternate plans (yes, I understand if it's rain then maybe a park may be not the best alternate plan, but a little time outside in the drizzle where you can then go home and get cozy is better then a cottage where 10 adults + 8 kids have to stay inside!)

Hair Pictures

2011-06-09T08:38:00.005-04:00

Do I like it? Sure.
Do I love it? Probably not.

But I think the part I'm a bit turned off is the colour. I like my hair dark, and whenever I go lighter I always think it makes my face more red (I hate my red face, you should SEE the number of products I've bought to try and reduce the redness. The product I'm looking for doesn't exist, I'm convinced!)

The first day was so humid that I hated it even more (but really, who loves their hair in the humidity? So even if I had an awesome cut I would have hated my hair that day) I've gotten a ton of compliments on it though from colleagues at work, which makes me feel better about it.

Other things I apparently feel obliged to talk about:

- I don't like bananas with cottage cheese
- I wont' be signing up for the Army half-marathon like I had hoped. I'm doing a quasi-insane commute these days, and realistically the only time I would be able to train would be at 5am or 9pm. And those times don't totally work for me (although I do remember a time that I loved working out super early, so maybe I should try it)
- I may have bought a case of my favourite wine. You can't find it at LCBO, but lucky me my favourite restaurant, Bambu (also owned and managed by friends) carries it. And I had them order me a case.

Weigh-in

2011-06-08T08:16:00.001-04:00

DOWN 2 LBS

Too much too much

2011-06-07T12:20:00.002-04:00

I hate it when you take a bite of salad, and there happens to be a greater amount of salad dressing in that one area - then it's all in your mouth at once and you can spit it out (cause you are at your desk) and you can't get it down fast enough? Yeah, that just happened to me.

(I have the most delicious green leaf lettuce salad with red peppers, cucumbers, onions, feta cheese, grilled chicken and avocado. I forgot my dressing at home so I stole roughly 1/2 tbsp of dressing from the fridge. I had to look around to make sure no one else was in the kitchen, because I would die if someone yelled STOP RIGHT THERE DRESSING THIEF).

Lynn - I will definitely let you know about Hair by Design. I chose it because it's an Aveda salon and I'm a hardcore Aveda user and believer.

I'm one of those "Do what you think looks good on me" customers. It's always worked out with me so far, that's why I think I'm such a salon-wh0re, a different one every time.

About that time

2011-06-06T21:49:00.001-04:00

To cut my hair that is. Having relatively short hair, I seem to get to the point where I wake up one morning and need to get my hair cut rightnow. Luckily, I always try a new salon (never really found a place I like enough to go more than once?) so I just keep calling until I find someone that can take me.

Tomorrow it's Hair By Design in Kanata. It's right around the corner from WW so I can get my hair done and then go weigh in. And hopefully I will be down an additional .2lbs from the hair that's cut off.

:)

Love to entertain

2011-06-05T21:44:00.003-04:00

Love it. Entertaining. Having friends over. A bottle (or two) of wine. Appetizers. Chatting. Food. Catching up. Music. Drinks. Kids laughing. Desserts. Adults laughing. Socializing.

And now we have the perfect house to do it in. And just to prove it, I think we've entertained 4 times in the 2 weeks we have lived here. And tonight was no exception.

The "kids" table. The twins are awesome eaters. Carson eats all his vegetables and complains about having to eat meat. Beckett eats all his meat and asks for more, can't be bothered with his veggies. If only they shared a body, they would eat so well!

My sister, brother in law and Jeff.

Mmmm steak, shrimp and grilled veggies on the BBQ.

Fruit for dessert! With a little bowl of a few chocolate wafer and truffles with vanilla coated cashews.
And here's the bee-ster sleeping. Isn't he little in that big bed?

Writing because he's sleeping

2011-06-04T15:40:00.006-04:00

Carson and I were out running errands while the bee-ster and Jeff took a nap (ha youngest and oldest need to nap). Carson has recently taken to falling asleep in shopping carts - which he did today in Homesense. I put him in the car, where he still remains sleeping over an hour later...)

So I'm sitting out here waiting and watching until he wakes up. A few things I've noticed:

- I would be a whole lot more comfy if I were sitting on the chair I wanted to buy from Lowe's today. We now have a beautiful new porch (see below) and nowhere to sit except on the front step. Which isn't so bad, but you know, I AM 36 and a chair would be a bit more comfortable

- in the hour or so I've been sitting out here, not ONE car has gone by. Which is fantastic, to live on a street and not have to worry about traffic! Especially if you have a particularly insane almost two year old who likes to escape from the house and join in a game of street hockey in only his diaper
- there are a ton of ants outside
- i love how beautiful gardens look, but I don't want to tend to them as often as you have to. I like my takecareofthemselves garden that was here before we moved in

- we have a big garage. But we haven't organized it yet. Maybe that's what I should be doing right now instead of this.

Am I crazy?

2011-06-01T20:07:00.002-04:00

I was reading the wonderful Amy's blog and her post about running. And she's running the Army half marathon. I'm currently running about 7km. Sept 18th is 15 weeks away. Can I do it?

I don't want to sign up and then feel guilty all summer for not training.

But now I'm on the road to losing weight, and maybe this is what I need to make sure I keep up with it over the summer (which is always harder for me than the winter, which is what this weeks' topic of the week at WW was).

Can I do it?

Joe Fresh

2011-06-01T20:00:00.003-04:00

Now that I'm on the losing weight track - I don't want to spend a lot of money on clothes, so Joe Fresh is my new best friend. Really cute dresses, capris and tanks.

And (don't tell my boss), but I got a mani/pedi at lunch tomorrow as a birthday treat from a good friend that I work with. My nails were shot to hell after a few weeks of packing/unpacking, painting and cleaning. Now they are nice and pretty. And short.

BOO-YAH

2011-05-31T21:08:00.000-04:00

DOWN 7.5 LBS

Oh! And..

2011-05-30T21:27:00.001-04:00

Be still my beating heart

Random thoughts

2011-05-30T21:23:00.002-04:00

- I stay up way too late in the summer.
- I am loving pinterest, follow me @ anniekiki! I'm really getting into decorating and it's helping me plan out the rooms in our new house
- The more time you take off work, the harder it is to go back
- I joined WW last week. Almost 6 years to the day that I reached my goal weight. My first WI is tomorrow night, I have a good feeling about it
- Beckett (my youngest) is a total maniac and normally will follow his older brother in whatever he is doing. But, he would have nothing to do with the splash pad tonight.
- A good friend of mine is treating me to a mani/pedi as a belated birthday present on Wednesday over our lunch hour, my feet are in desperate need of one

New House

2011-05-29T21:03:00.003-04:00

I've been really missing blogging as of late. I don't know exactly what I want to blog about, so it'll just be random things on my mind until I figure it all out.

We just moved into a new house. I love it. Things that are on my mind at the moment:

- a bigger house requires way more cleaning
- successful move, only two boxes I can't find (box of Carson's clothes, box of my good pots. Of course I have the one of my old second-tier pots)
- I love how there are french doors in between the kid's playroom and our family room. This way if the kid's room is a disaster and I don't want to tidy it up because I know within ten minutes of them waking up it will be in the exact same position as it is right now I can just close the doors and it's like the mess doesn't even exist
- I remember wondering about the lights in my new house, and I would make it look cozy at night. Well, I love the way it looks at night :)
- there are big ass mosquitoes here in Stittsville

Night.

Myfitnesspal

2011-02-11T14:34:00.002-05:00

I should start this e-mail by saying I'm a Gemini. Most things you read about Geminis sound something like this:

They take up new activities enthusiastically but lack application, constantly needing new interests, flitting from project to project as apparently purposelessly as a butterfly dancing from flower to flower. To them life is a game which must always be full of fresh moves and continuous entertainment, free of labor and routine. Changing horses in the middle of the stream is another small quirk in the Gemini personality which makes decision making, and sticking to a decision, particularly hard for them.

This is true for me in terms of starting new things. When I start a new job, I want a whole new wardrobe. I want to reinvent myself. If I start a new hobby, I want to go out and buy all the necessary equipment before I even figure out if I like it or not. When I started running I had to go out and buy running clothes, running shoes, hats, jackets, shorts etc... Every time I start journalling, I need a brand new journal. If I get a new outfit, I need new makeup to go with it. if I start to budget, I need a new budgetting program.

Some of it makes sense, but sometimes I take it to the extreme. (and now looking back at what I wrote you will know that I'm a total consumer, something I'm trying to change but I love new pretty things)

Anyways, I've written about my success with WW, how much I loved sparkpeople, dailyfit... and my newest love? Myfitnesspal

(if you join, add me, my name is anniekiki!)

Why do I love it?

- it's FREE
- it's easy to use
- you can add friends
- any food I've gone to add to my daily food diary is already in the database
- it tracks calories, carbs, fat & protein

Even though I've been told not to journal (with my issues it's been known to lead to obsessiveness) but honestly? It helps me SO much. I need to be held accountable. The only thing is - I'm not weighing myself, so you can't see my progress, but I can feel my progress.

And in the end, that's more important.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that.

2011-02-05T20:33:00.002-05:00

I'm not entirely sure what I will be doing with this space. I hope that I will find out what works for me, and hopefully you will bare with me while I do.

Apparently the medication wasn't the answer for me. As always, I was looking for the easy way out. The magic pill. The one where the weight just fell off me. Instead, it climbed onto me. And is stuck there.

I've been to see a therapist over the holidays. I felt I got a lot out of my sessions. I haven't gone back yet, because I was given quite a bit of 'homework' including some books, some mediation, some EFT tips and some journalling. I haven't wanted to go back to see her before I did what I was supposed to. So I'm working at that.

I'll be back with something to say. Be it interesting or not.

Failure is not an option

2011-02-05T20:25:00.002-05:00

Supposing you have tried and failed again and again.
You may have a fresh start any moment you choose,
for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down.
- Mary Pickford

Hello and goodbye

2010-08-21T20:07:00.002-04:00

I thought I would give you a little update (if anyone is still reading this, that is) on where things are.

First off, I'm good. I'm really good. Actually better than I've been in a long time.

I've been working with my doctor to get to where I am now and in a nutshell, I was diagnosed with an OCD in regards to food and eating. After many talks, lots of thinking, I've come to realize that it makes sense. I am obsessed with food.

One of the treatments for this is to not put it on the forefront of my mind every day. I KNOW that journalling what I eat is good. I KNOW that having a blog talking about what I'm eating, how I'm trying to be healthy and exercise updates is good. BUT neither of these are helping me to stop obsessing about food.

So he's advised me, for a while, to stop writing, talking, thinking about it all. And it's been helping. I haven't missed blogging. I haven't missed the anxiety (for lack of a better word) of weighing in, admitting my mistakes, telling you all if I have gained or lost, been a good girl or a bad girl, I'm just going about my days and my obsession with food is definitely taking a backseat.

There are a lot of variables as to why this is - one being I'm back at work. Which has always helped because I always pack my lunch and never really buy food. I'm eating well, really well. But I'm allowing myself a treat here and there and I don't beat myself up over it. Eating one bad thing doesn't set me off and stop only when everything I'm craving has been eaten.

And can I tell you something? It's such a relief! To be making room in my head for more important things then my neuroses about food? I feel so great.

Anyways, I hope one day to be back to blogging. I am still reading all your blogs when I get a chance. I don't think I will come back here, I hope one day I will find what it is I really want to write about and if and when I do? I will come find you all and show you where I am.

Until then - be happy, be healthy and be good to yourself.

xoxoxo

Can you hear that?

2010-07-20T13:43:00.002-04:00

The grass has been growing over this blog, I haven't felt very blogger-ish lately.

I've hinted before that things have been kind of rough lately and I've been allowing myself to wallow in self-pity. But seriously, where the hell has that ever gotten anyone? Nowhere. It does nothing for my mind, my body nor my soul.

I'm kind of out of sorts without my Lean and Fit class. I was supposed to start running, but the baby was sick (in the hospital) last week so he kind of dominated my thoughts, I put myself on the back burner. Now we are kind of doing some jiggling around in terms of my work, Jeff's work and figuring out daycare and school, so after I put the kids to bed I'm wrapped up in that and haven't fit in a stitch of exercise.

But I'm dealing with things that I've been doing my best to ignore for a long time, they certainly aren't fun things to deal with, but I couldn't put them off anymore. And it's like everything - facing your fears always works to your advantage.

I have also recommitted to eating well. I'm counting calories and cutting out all treats. It's very disappointing to me that I start work in a month and I still can't fit into my work clothes. I can't buy a whole new wardrobe at this size, so I hopefully can find a few cheap pieces to get me through the interim.

I forsee life getting a whole lot busier soon.

I can't guarantee I will be back blogging any time soon, or regularly (maybe random drive by's?) but I hope everyone is safe, healthy and happy.

Cha cha cha changes la la la la

2010-07-13T13:06:00.002-04:00

Lots of changes over here.

1 - I need to cancel my Tony Greco membership (insert huge loud dramatic wahhhhh)
2 - I may need to go back to work 2 weeks early
3 - I will start running again
4 - I will join the gym at work and go to the gym at 6am before starting work at 7am every morning

I know there were others, but that's all I have for right now.

In regards to yesterday's post, I also want to stop obessessing about losing weight! I think about it morning, noon and night. I want to teach myself (body and mind) to eat well and not be wishing for something sweet, not comparing myself to every woman I pass in the street, I want to rid my closet of keeping 8 different sizes of clothing... I know it's alot and I know it won't come easilly but I hate when I am consumed daily with thoughts of dieting, losing weight, wanting to be skinny. It's enough to drive a woman insane!!!

Eek!

2010-07-12T13:55:00.002-04:00

I've been gone for a bit. On vacation both physically and mentally.

I'm struggling here folks. Seriously struggling. My head is just not into it. I don't even know how to restart. I have a problem. As soon as I get "out of it" I get so far off track that I don't even recognize myself anymore.

I went to PEI (we make an annual trip out East to visit our family) and it's like I forgot who I am, how I feel and what I'm striving to be.

I've been doing alot of thinking. I think I may have the wrong goal in mind. If I were to honestly answer the question "What is this journey I am on?" then I would say "to become skinny". Not to become healthy, not to get in touch with my body, not to get to a healthy weight, not to be strong, but I want to be SKINNY. And perhaps that's why I am failing. As soon as I don't see the scale move, then I feel I am failing. Like I'm not getting what I want, and it completely throws me out of whack.

If I changed my goal, like if deep down I really wanted to just be healthy, then not seeing a loss on my scale wouldn't throw me off track. But the problem is, I need to actually want to be healthy and to not just lose weight and be skinny and not just say it. It's so easy to say one thing, but it's how I feel if I really look inside that matters. Not what I just say. Or not what I just post on my blog.

This is totally random, and I hope to slowly come back to the blogging world with more put together thoughts that make sense, but just know that until then I am thinking. And plotting. And planning. For a comeback.

Humpty Dumpty

2010-06-19T20:20:00.003-04:00

Sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a big fall.

Yup, that's me. Humpty big ol' Dumpty. Last week I was sitting high up a wall. Then I fell. Hard. Friday morning I woke up, at 5:30 and CONCIOUSLY made the decision to go back to bed. That hasn't happened since I joined, back in NOVEMBER.

Things got out of control here ever since the flu! Won't get into the boring details of why, but our meal planning/making definitely took a backseat. Whoa and what a backseat it is!

Anyways, it just kind of struck me.

Eating well + exercise + being healthy is directly proportional to me being happy. Enjoying life and smiling way more than frowning.

And the best part is, I KNOW how to do the first three things. So if I do those things, I will be not sitting on the couch feeling icky and fat and lazy and rather be happy, not obsessing about food and maybe smiling?

Then why the heck aren't I doing it? It's not rocket science. Get to it Christy.

Ok, night. I need a good night's sleep so I can tackle this thing head on.

Did I tell you Jeff got sick of my mood being dictated by a scale so the next time I went to weigh myself I realized the scale was gone? Like it's gone, nowhere to be seen. And Jeff's smiling. Hmmm...

I promise my next post I will have a different lookout on things. And you can hold me to it :)

Ramblings

2010-06-10T20:41:00.003-04:00

A few thoughts as of late:

reintroducing the kitchen scale was a good move on my part. It's amazing how we think we can eyeball 3oz of meat
green tea is my friend. At night instead of snacking I make tea and it perfectly satisfies me
I used to think I could eat as much fruit as I wanted. And while I'm sure no one got fat because they ate too much fruit, it's amazing how quickly the calories add up
I really do love trying new recipes, I'm proud to say that none of my meals come out of boxes, jars or bags
it's not only how many calories a day you consume, it's what you eat and when you eat
eating 5 smaller meals a day rather than 3 big meals seems to work for me
if I eat sugar, I want more sugar. So lately I haven't been eating it and go figure, I don't want it now
I really need some new breakfast ideas

It's Friday, my scariest day in terms of eating because tomorrow is the weekend. Which brings the unknown. Where are we going? What are we doing? Who's house will we be eating at? I hope there isn't anything tempting there.

Every weekend is a setback for me, but I'm improving little by little each weekend. Perhaps by the end of the summer I will have it down pat? One can only hope.

Keeping it up

2010-06-09T21:26:00.003-04:00

It seems for the greater part of the last 6 years, I have been working out.

I started out running, joined a gym, did a few bootcamps, joined Tony Greco, kept running, joined another gym and have finally landed back at Tony Greco. Sure there have been a few breaks in between, but the breaks are shorter and not as often. The last break was 4 months (last month of pregnancy and 3 months after baby was born).

Tonight I put both kids to bed and then sat down on the couch with my laptop. I was convincing myself that it was too late to go for a run. I was considering getting comfy. Then all of a sudden, I swear my legs starting twitching and I felt this overwhelming need to get out and get moving.

I went out for an intended 7k run. About 1.5k into it it started to rain. The words of one of my trainers rang through my head "If you don't have enough time for a run, do hills to increase your strength". Luckily the huge toboganning hill was upcoming on my right. I did 10 hills (with a one minute break halfway through) and gave it my all. Then I ran the 2k home.

And now I'm on my couch but in a way better mood.

On the other side

2010-06-09T10:11:00.002-04:00

Of the plague. It went through 3 of us and the only one who avoided it was the baby. I think it's because of all the dirt he eats.

Anyways, here we are. 1.8lbs lighter (perhaps because of the lack of food for better part than 2 days?) but I'll try and keep the loss. I went to the gym last night, but honestly? I should have waited an extra day to get my energy back. I was slow, couldn't keep up and didn't feel like I got my "money's worth". Should get back tonight, although there may only be time for a run. Either way, I will get my sweat on.

In bed

2010-06-07T09:56:00.001-04:00

Without the energy to get out. That's what you get when you are up all night with the stomach flu.

Jeff is staying home with the kiddies today while I stay in bed. I think kids have forgotten I am here - which between you and me, is great.